Thursday, October 15, 2009

Quarter Life crisis

This post seems out of place. I should have written on this topic first, considering it is the omnipresent topic for my entire blog. But, I have never been much of a rule follower, and my previous post came from passion and confusion at an important moment in my life. So for now, I will allow myself to blog they way my heart and mind tells me to.

Quarter Life Crisis? What is it? How am I handling it? And how do most handle it? Well, to tell you the truth, I have uttered the words "Quarter Life Crisis" to more than a few older adults who have laughed in my face, shown great confusion as to the meaning, and others who simply shrug it off as a dramatization of a young kid who feels a little lost in the moment. Well, I am here to write and say that yes, in fact, a quarter life crisis is a real thing. Not made up, not dramatized , and it shouldn't always be overlooked.

After pondering over whether or not this was a real or imaginary problem made up in my head, I realized I was asking myself, "how could this not be real?" Yes, your twenties are some of the best years in your life. We are young, fresh, hip, liberal, risky, energetic, shameless, and confident. These are the years that we will tell stories about while we are finishing up dinner at the neighbors across the street when we are in our 40's. These are the stories we will try and hide from our own children, and keep them from following in our footsteps. And yet, realistically, for some, these will be some of the hardest years of our lives.

I feel as though I am a part of a generation to really feel a burning passion to really make a difference and do something with our lives. Yet, the path to do so is so muddled. Since we were young, we have always been told that it is either too hard, too risky, or just too out of the ordinary to reach for. Too often we are all brought up to believe that as soon as College is over or as soon as you have said hello to the mid twenties you should be expected to follow the path that most others do. Move home, get a job, get married, have babies, live next door to your parents, and see the entire family more than 2x a month. Now, let me just pause for a second. Doing all of the latter is not a bad thing. In fact it is a beautiful thing. Not that anyone really reads my blogs yet anyway, but for a brief second I had a star moment. I saw outrage by readers of my comment. But please, I do believe that there is nothing wrong with any of that, I just believe that it is the complete wrong timing for some of us out there. So...there is this burning passion to really feel things, learn things, and step outside of our comfort zone a little. There is a passion to not settle for the typical Corporate America type job that could more or less be known as robotics. Really, listen to me here, IT IS ROBOTICS. At least the company that I used to work for was. Go to work, sit in your cube, wear these clothes, paint your fingernails like this, Lord have mercy don't have more than 3 white wines...EVER, say this, say that, and oh yeah....please hand us the ticket to your life. No thank you, I say. Whether that was voluntary or involuntary can be left to your imagination. But then, when you decide to not be a part of that, to move on, and to take some crazy risks, you would not believe the back lash. So in the end, a lot of quarter lifers take the easy route and always wonder about what could have been, because would you ever realize how easy it is to actually believe everything everyone says to you because you are scared? WAY TOO EASY.

Basically, everything above was kind of an intro into the definition of a Quarter Life Crisis. Here is the definition from Urban Dicitionary: " Usually occurs sometime in your twenties, a few years out of school and still feel as though you're waiting for you're life to begin. " Ahh, how true! It seems as though many days I wake up and I repeat this saying to myself...."Is my life here yet, oh, oh, there it is! Wait, this isn't what I thought or had planned! Well, I guess my life hasn't begun yet." The definition from Urban Dictionary then goes on to say: "Some people will respond to a quarter life crisis by rushing into various landmark type goals in life (ie, getting married, moving out from your parents house, getting your first house, getting your first real job, having kids). This could be because their friends have....

My two favorite lines "your first real job", and "because their friends have" these are the two phrases that I believe really mold this situation called a "Quarter Life Crisis". It is a period of time where we are constantly measuring. Imagine us all with rulers comparing our lives to the lives of our friends, family, and fake friends we have on Facebook. I can picture it quite well actually.... everyone walks around with a ruler and measures their own accomplishments with that of everyone around them. Thus, feeling better or worse about their own efforts. Of course the ending in my head is that every one's rulers are eventually broken because no one can handle this race to the top of nothingness. Because once we get there, we may fearfully realize that there is nothing there and that this game of who has done what and who has what, is really quite hysterical. In the end, every one's rulers would be broken because we would realize that our measure of success is quite relative to our own individual hearts.

Well, to answer the question as to how I am handling this "Quarter Life Crisis", I will say that, hmm, well, I am handling it. Trying to embrace it everyday, and wondering, when will it be over? Or is it never really over? Am I always going to be searching for my real life to begin? I think not. Because I think really it is about realizing that my real life has begun, this is just part of it. Every bit. The confusion, the glory, the fun, the tears, the romance, and of course the fear of not knowing exactly where your life is going.

Thank you for reading, and please bare with me as I improve my "blogging" skills. Whatever they are. You can laugh at me too if my grammar is a little off, or if I switch narratives. I will get better, but the truth is, I don't really give a rat's a$$. I write because it flows, not because it looks perfect.

**All of my information came strictly from my noggin aside from the definition from Urban dictionary. I have not read any commentaries or books on this phenomenon called a "Quarter Life Crisis". My coffee is cold and calling my name.




3 comments:

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  2. Way to make those of us who are accountants and living in springfield feel bad about ourselves...not that it is your fault, it is the accountant who lives in springfield's fault I suppose! I am so jealous and totally excited for you; you took the risk most of us are too scared to take.

    I saw your mom the other day, she said you would be back this fall to take care of your apartment and such. If you are in springfield, you better call!

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